this gives me life and inspires me to step up my lipstick game
You hear all these “you’re not a real fan unless” and it lists a hundred things, but I met a dude today who saw my Deadpool pin and asked what my favorite story arc was, and I explained that while I loved Deadpool, I was new to Marvel (I only really got into it a year and a half ago) and hadn’t been able to find a lot of the comics. Instead of making a face or a derogatory comment, he just offered to send me all the stuff he had. That is a true fan.
This x-ray shows the case of an unfortunate woman who happened to have a snake crawl into her vagina, slither through the fallopian tube, and out oast the ovary into her body cavity. It survived unknown for three days until the snake started eating her appendix.
OH MY GOD WHY
I AM GOING TO HAVE FUCKING NIGHTMARES FOREVER NOW
PLEASE KILL ME
OH DEAR GOD NO
How do we know she isn’t lying about it crawling up there…
She would definitely have felt it penetrating her cervix and your fallopian tubes are not large enough to accomodate a snake of that size without considerable discomfort if not intense pain.
I’m calling bull on this one.
This is fake as shit. The cervix is not an opening like the vagina is. Do you know how small an IUD is? It’s a little bit more than a toothpick. You know how much one hurts to get inserted? It’s like a knife because it’s stretching something that’s not meant to be stretched at rest.
A snake /could/ poke its head in a vagina, maybe, but snakes are stupid squishy plops who don’t do a lot of moving and while they like warm things they don’t like fucking around with something big enough to eat them.
So we’re talking about I guess a rabies infested snake, or a snake mutant, or a zombie snake with no concern for self preservation or reason that would 1) move more than it needs to 2) willingly enter an orifice in a body when no record of such behaviour has ever been documented before and it goes against their instincts.
So this zombie snake gets inside, and then… Turns into mist? Or something? To get through a hole smaller than a pin without the woman feeling it.
Our vampire snake proceeds to mist through tubes thinner than straws, anesthetising her all the way, and coils safely in her abdomen.
And because it’s a vampire snake it DOESN’T BREATHE FOR THREE FUCKING DAYS BUT IS STILL ALIVE APPARENTLY.
EVERYTHING ELSE ASIDE, SNAKES NEED TO BREATHE.
ARE WE GOING BACK TO THE 1850’S WHERE WE THINK UTERUSES EXIST IN OPEN VOIDS AND RICOCHET AROUND SOMETIMES BECAUSE I CAN’T THINK OF ANY OTHER WAY A SNAKE COULD BREATHE.
This makes me want to fake really ridiculous stories like “one time a hamster chewed up from the anus and lived in a guy’s lung unknown”
Snakes cannot contract rabies, but this post IS fake as shit. A snake won’t eat an appendix, and believe it or not it’s actually pretty hard to get INTO the uterus considering how tight it is on the inside, not to mention how incredibly painful it would be to have something forcing its way into the cervix like that (You’d definitely notice) There’d be no reason for a snake to cram itself in there like that for any reason, there’d be no way a person wouldn’t notice this happening without heavy anesthesia, and there’s no way a snake could fully uncurl inside the abdominal cavity like that. This snake would be a barely identifiable lump, smashed up into a ball by the powerful muscles of the uterus.
In short: Someone fooled y’all dumb motherfuckers with a body horror post and you bought it. I bet you think spiders can lay eggs inside your skin too.
What’s really frightening is that people believe this stupid shit. I mean come on it’s not even a GOOD photoshop.
what bothers me is how none of the people above possessed the skepticism to stop and think… maybe that’s not real? And maybe think about the numerous reasons as to why this would never happen. Like even if you were physically shoving a snake up your vagina.. No.
For the morons that fell for this:
Op’s url is “unverified reality”
Facts I just made up 2.0 pretty much
i love seeing girls close ranks when their fella is cheating, instead of defending him and attacking the other girls. like seriously. it warms my cold, cold heart so much.
i need the rest of this story, where did you put the body
I’ve always wanted to do this. I hope they all went out for ice cream later too.
i want an update on this
FORCED TO FLEE WITH HIS NAN
A cheating boyfriend got his comeuppance when he touched down in the UK following a holiday – and walked straight into his three girlfriends.
Charlie Fisher, 20, had barely set foot on English soil at Luton Airport when he heard someone shouting ‘liar, liar’ – and saw the three girls he had been seeing being each other’s backs marching towards him.
Becky Connery, 17, said she planned the (not so) welcome party after finding out her love rat boyfriend had been texting a girl behind her back.
‘He came out and froze,’ she told The Sun.
The girls found each other through text and Facebook and hatched the plan (Picture: Lizzie Leeland-Cunningham)
‘We started calling him a cheat and a liar really loudly. He didn’t have anything to say.’
After seeing the message, Becky got in touch with the 20-year-old girl – who does not want to be identified – and together, the pair found a third girl through Facebook, Lizzie Leeland-Cunningham.
‘I just wanted to see his face when all three of us were in the same place,’ Lizzie, 19, told The Sun.
Becky later said that after confronting her cheating ex, he ‘ran to his nana’.
Charlie, from Hertfordshire, would invent friends and lie about family commitments in order to juggle the three girls, according to reports.
Postcards For Ants, Lorraine Loots
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
if youve never seen bo burnham
This has been a PSA
"So, where are we gonna go first?" "That way. No hold on… That way"
(I would like to title this piece: perspective, I tried.)
Omg it’s so precious!!
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power
My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
This sounds like something Tina Belcher would say. And I mean that in the absolute best way possible.(via paragonred)
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
the skeletons are evolving and we are not prepared